Dealer Joe’s Entire Grain Laborious Pretzel Sticks

Trader Joe's Whole Grain Hard Pretzel Sticks
Okay, let me minimize to the chase right here:

These SUCK. Do NOT, below circumstance, get these. Entire grain pretzel sticks appear to be they is likely to be a great premise, a great wholesome snack. Effectively, they is likely to be wholesome, however they’re horrible, horrendous, and simply plain disgusting.

How unhealthy are they? If pretzels have been Willie Mays, these can be sporting a Mets uniform. In the event that they have been Sly Stallone, these guys can be “starring” alongside Dolly Parton in “Rhinestone.” In the event that they have been the Beatles, … properly, let’s simply say Yoko Ono can be concerned. These pretzels take one thing so good, so pure and satisfying, and switch it into crap.

I imply, I like pretzels. Any sort of pretzel – sticks, rods, nuggets, these little grid-like guys, gentle, further darkish, splits, sourdough, honey wheat, gentle pretzels, flavored bits and items, pretzel buns, something remotely pretzel-like. I went by means of highschool consuming two gentle pretzels for lunch on a regular basis (properly, besides taco day, okay). Sandy made superior do-it-yourself gentle pretzels just a few days in the past that when I polished them off I used to be begging for extra. They’re positively one in all my favourite snack meals teams, partly as a result of they’re wholesome in comparison with chips and tacky doodles, and likewise as a result of they’re simply good.

And these guys … blah. I attempted to love them. I actually did. I wished to love them. However there’s nothing redeeming about them. They’re bland, tasteless sticks of particle board. They’re sparingly salted, which is okay, however there is not any taste to them in any other case, besides burned. I took a glance inside a stick I midway crunched, and there is an orange-brownish ring surrounding a teeny white core. So they’re simply overbaked – I assume perhaps that is to assist them boast about their declare to be “exhausting”, however they’re actually not – they’re actually not any extra crunchy than every other pretzel stick. However they’re much drier, which makes all of the noticed mud they depart in your mouth a lot trickier to swallow. After solely two or three I wanted a drink to actually wash them down.

I assume it is a part of the entire grain curse. Entire grain meals, when made proper, style great and nutty and scrumptious and assist fill you up healthfully. However when made mistaken … man, I do not care how good they is likely to be for you if they do not style good. The marginal well being advantages do not outweigh the style expertise for me. And these pretzels are about the very best instance I can consider for this.

I had Sandy strive one. She munched down half a stick, made a face, went to the fridge and bought out a jar of peanut butter to dip the opposite half in. That seems like an epoxy recipe to me. “They’re higher with one thing,” she mentioned. I can purchase that, however then that just about defeats the entire function of getting a wholesome snack. It is like making broccoli to eat wholesome however dumping molten Velveeta on it – having so as to add one thing unhealthy to make an in any other case good-for-you meals edible appears counterproductive and misleading.

Anyhow, I can not discover something good about them. I thought-about returning them to the shop, however perhaps I am going to save them for our canine once we run out of his treats. He would not know the distinction. Sandy is a bit more forgiving than me, and she or he mentioned she’d give them a two, “perhaps a 3,” in order that seems like a two-and-a-half to me. Effectively, that is all they’re gonna get. Absolute zero from me.

Backside line: 2.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons