Trader Joe’s F’mores

Trader Joe's S'mores
You all know what a s’more is. Thin Mints, generations of strong, confident, and character-filled girls (hey, it’s in the mission statement), s’mores are probably one of Girl Scouts’ greatest contributions to society. Although it is difficult to prove that Girl Scouts created the irreplaceable combination of semi-melted chocolate and hot fire-toasty marshmallows, the term “Some More” was used to describe the popularization of the concept. Before being shortened to a “s’more”, You can’t camp or go out into the woods to make a campfire without them. Sandy and me made sure we had all the ingredients in order to set up a tent at Joshua Tree National Park for our recent vacation. Great campfire dinner.

This makes it seem a little odd to me that frozen desserts are sold under the brand “S’more.” Not “S’more Ice Cream Sandwich”, or “S’more Frozen Dessert.” It’s just “Smore.” That’s it. Listen, Trader Joe’s, you and I both know you didn’t flambé these on a stick in the middle of nowhere, so it isn’t a s’more. Although I am a strict semanticist, you made a mistake. After hearing so much about how great these were, I was able to get home quickly and put them in the freezer immediately. Then, I waited a few days to take them out of the frozen realm of my reliable Kenmore, where they finally became ….ugh. You must have mishandled this package at some point, either in shipping, packaging, or in-store handling. All the sandwiches had clearly been melted and then frozen more or less in their original shape. Do not mess with the package of the reviewer, especially since he is a self-proclaimed expert on ice cream!

They were nevertheless in good shape so that it was possible to measure them accurately. They are definitely different than the Sublime Ice Cream Sandwiches. Let me compare them. They were definitely the highlight of the S’mores. However, that’s not to suggest they are bad. As with the Subliminals they were a softer variety which I enjoyed, but they were smaller and thinner. I preferred more cookies for my sandwich, much like the graham cracker is in an actual S’more. The Subliminals ice cream is quite plain. However, the S’mores ice cream is richer. It’s actually gelato, not ice cream. There is less butterfat and more sugar which may help with melting, but it’s still …). And there are lots of marshmallows swirled in. It seems out of balance flavor-wise to a s’more. I don’t like the taste of chocolate mixed in and flaked. Although I made his own s’mores like graham crackers, I ended up using a lot more than necessary. There was a chunk of Hershey’s marshmallow in the crackers, which is more of a secondary flavor than primary. Overall, they tasted vaguely s’more-y than actual s’mores.

It’s not me. Sandy is in agreement with this notion. She said that she liked them because they were ice-cream-y. I agree. If I had to choose between these and Subliminals, I would almost always choose the Subliminals. They are not terrible (I like them overall), but I find that they just fall short of my expectations. My lovely wife stands by me. She replied, “I’ll give these like a two and a half.” This is exactly half the amount she gave to Subliminals. Me? I’m not able to go lower, but I am comfortable with a 3. This is a full Golden Spoon below my Subliminal score. They might be able to come back in stock, so I would be open to giving them another chance. But I won’t hold my breath. Disagree? You can disagree! Please leave a comment and be civil.

Bottom line: 5.5 of 10 Golden Spoons