Imagine buying a pepperoni pie and realizing that only one piece of pepperoni was on the whole pizza. How would that make you feel? How would you feel? Is it really a pepperoni pizza? It is a pizza with pepperoni. When I was working in various pizza shops, there were standard sizes for large pepperoni pizzas. There were four in the middle, nine on the middle ring and sixteen on the outer. It’s a great thing to see progressions of squared number! Going back to our thought exercise, how long would your battle with your buddy/spouse/significant other/dog/other personality be over who gets the pepperoni and who doesn’t? How would you feel cheated and what would your opinion be about your purchase?
Because it is very relevant, I bring this up in connection to Trader Joe’s Golden Caramel Swirl Ice Cream. Our purchase did not include a golden caramel swirl in the Golden Caramel Swirl. None. No swirl. No. Zip. Nada. Nada.
Notice how I said nearly entirely devoid. To be fair, I tasted caramel on this particular ice-cream on only two or three of the approximately 100 bites I took. Sandy might have had that experience with the entire carton. So it’s unlikely there’s a secret mega caramel vein. This is the only logical explanation I can come up with. 1. We are idiots, and we don’t understand what we’re talking.. Although it is possible to do so, I doubt it. We’ve already reviewed the Fleur de Sel Caramel Sauce that this dessert claims to have. It’s not even close. 2. The French vanilla and chocolate ice creams are too rich and vibrant to allow a flavor like caramel through. It’s still there, but it’s way too subtle.. Perhaps, but it’s possible, but most likely not. 3. It’s just not there. Now, you’re speaking.
Anyways…aside the “for all intents & purposes, there is really no caramel in Golden Caramel Swirl Ice Cream” snafu it’s actually good cream. It’s a beautiful French vanilla, and it’s delicious. However, this brings me back to my opening pepperoni pie analogy. If what is supposed to be there isn’t, it doesn’t matter how delicious the rest of it. The package’s side-by-side description boasts about it being a “gold medal candidate” and uses silly Olympic-ish language. In my opinion, the complete absence of caramel is an automatic disqualifier. Let’s not even talk about the East German judge. TJ’s seems to have a hard time with ice cream, so this is a big miss. Sandy is going to be nice. While it could use some crispy ice cream cone bits it gets 2.5 stars despite that major flaw. Me? Sorry.
Bottom line: Trader Joe’s Golden Caramel Swirl Ice cream: 3.5 out 10 Golden Spoons