Trader Joe’s English Cheddar and Carmelized Onions

Trader Joe's English Cheddar with Carmelized Onions

If I were a better author, I would be able write this review so that it could be read by John Cleese, Monty Python’s famed narrator. If I was funny, charming, and had witty banter, and could do some cheesy special effect and have Sandy wear an alien costume, I would make a video of it and upload it to Nathan’s YouTube channel. It’d be as hilarious and heartwarming as Dr. Who’s David Tennant era. You don’t have to be bored by the stuffy British aristocratic handwringing if you want me to. Downton Arby).*

It’s great, but I think that I have just alienated half the audience by that last line.  It’s also poorly timed, according to what I gathered from the last episode.

Let’s move on, those of you left are aware that I’m not one of them. I am just a guy who has a mouth and writes about what he puts in it. That qualifies me for writing about cheeses such as Trader Joe’s English Cheese with Caramelized Onions.

Since the beginning of this blog, I have heard a lot about this particular piece o’ cheddar. I have never picked it up since my last stop. I have been burned by some cheap choices in the past so you can forgive me for being shy. Anyways….it’s interesting. It’s unclear what I mean by that. Just….interesting. It was very interesting. I was expecting: A sweet caramelized onion flavor with mild cheddar flavors. I wasn’t expecting that the cheese would be so soft and sweet. It’s true, straight out of the fridge, I can only describe the cheese as “cold” and “clammy”. This is how I see much of England. My tasters don’t know what to think. It’s good enough to warrant more bites. But in the end, I just don’t know. After we’ve finished eating our cheese, we might decide it’s worth repeating the purchase. Maybe not.

The caramelized onions are, to be honest, the best part of cheddar. They taste just like the ones Sandy had with me at the Irish pub, where we enjoyed them alongside our bangers and mashing before our Ceili dance night. Maybe I’m too familiar with the cheddars on our side of pond. However, if the rest was more like a good, sharp, hard cheddar that didn’t seem so sweetened by the onions, it would be more enjoyable. It’s true, cheese candy is what comes to my mind. Who knows if it’s good or bad.

“‘Cheese candy?’ Sandy replied, “Cheese candy?” Sandy noted that she wouldn’t have said it that way. However, she did say how much she loved the sweetness and cheesiness. It was soft, she said. I was surprised that she was as confused as me about her grade. “Ehhhhhh ….I am not a true cheese connoisseur and so I don’t know ….let’s say three. It seems safe to play it down the middle, and so I do.

Bottom line: Trader Joe’s English Cheddar and Caramelized Onions is 6 out of 10 Golden Spoons
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* The only thing I can enjoy about “Downton Abbey” is trying to spot all the actors who’ve been in any of the Harry Potter movies or on “Dr. Who.” I saw five people in one episode. Five!