Cherry Cider by Trader Joe

Trader Joe's Cherry Cider

There’s nothing like a sticky sweet, nectar-like beverage on a warm spring day after a nice round of tennis. Green Plant Beverage? Please. Keep your algae-juice. This 31-year old is trapped in a 13-year-old boy’s body and wants a sugar-shockin’ rush of delicious red liquid confection.

This is exactly what it is. Unfortunately for all those who thought that this was cherry cider. As we talked in an earlier article about a different ciderThis kind of drink should taste “tangy and dark.” While I am not certain how the color appears on your computer monitor and I’m not certain that my camera is properly color-balanced either, the liquid in the glass looks red. It is a deep, almost brown color, but it is. Not brown. The packaging, too, hints that the drink within is bold red. And the beverage’s subtle tartness is overshadowed by its Juicy Juice-like sweetness.

The color red is now a symbol for sweet classic drinks. Coke cans come in red. Red Kool-Aid is, as everyone knows, the best Kool-Aid. Mountain Dew’s green drink was too similar to a health beverage, so they created Code Red to make sure everybody knew they stood for rapid tooth decay and higher rates of diabetes death.

This cherry-flavored beverage is, thankfully, very natural. It didn’t contain high-fructose corn sugar. It actually contains concentrated apple, cherry, plum and pineapple juices.

Its misleading name is my only complaint. It is not cider. This is Trader Joe’s Code Red version without artificial carbonation. It’s completely for kids…and old guys like me who enjoy drinking children’s beverages. It leaves a sticky residue on your tongue after you have finished a glass. It’s hard to say how I feel about this.

Sonia shocked me almost as much as the candied-kick of the drink when she gave it a 4. It was way too sweet. It gets a 4 from me, but I’m going to dock a point for it not being what it claims. It’s still a refreshing, easy-to-drink, and chuggable treat. You’ll love Juicy Juice.

Bottom line: 8 out 10.