Trader Giotto’s ‘Spearean Risotto

Trader Giotto's 'Spearean Risotto

My dear Giotto,

Bongiorno. It was a pleasure to meet you during your recent trip to the U.S.A. It was great to have another opportunity to enjoy one of your Italian recipes. But as a foodie-hack of sorts, I have to be honest—I’d really prefer pizza or pannacotta again next time you visit.

First, the only thing I see in your picture is asparagus tips. What I actually saw in my dish was the bottom of the asparaguses. Or is that asparagi? And let’s face it, the asparagus “butts” simply don’t have the taste or texture of the top part—the “spear” that you so prominently feature in the title of your entree. Give us more top parts. Despite not being an expert at math, I think there would be one top component for every bottom one. These were where they went. Did you use all of them for the packaging photo shoot? Did you actually eat them all? Giotto… Were we not gracious hosts? Were you not gracious hosts?

Furthermore, they seemed unusually rubbery and stringy—even for the bottom parts. Overall, the dish was bland. Your dish lacks flavor. There is some butteriness but not enough. Although your risotto was creamy and soft, it felt like I was eating something from the “lite” menu. Although Americans may be fat, Italians expect Giotto to be a treat when they eat Italian food. Mama mia!

I think your rice dish could be greatly improved with a few additional ingredients. You can add different vegetables, sausage, or bacon to your rice dish! You could add almost any thing to this dish! Sonia shares my feelings on this subject. We could certainly add more, but you’re Giotto, the chef. Further, we are lazy.

It’s not because we aren’t grateful for the meal you prepared for our family. It’s only that we know you can do more. After all, if your American cousin can make a good Sicilian Pizza, shouldn’t a real Italian be able to nail an Italian dish? We would give your risotto five out of ten stars if we had to rate it.

Your American pen pal,

Bottom line: 5 out 10.